Saturday 26 November 2011

Thanksgiving: a turkey-inspired recipe for scandal

Mo' and 'Col, having a very happy Thanksgiving with
their adopted mother.
Although Thanksgiving is not widely celebrated in New Zealand, the gossipy bantams celebrated Thanksgiving this year with turkey. They couldn't celebrate with Yortu, because she had conveniently disappeared a few days beforehand, and they wouldn't celebrate with Bob, because he tends to be a little socially inappropriate. Instead, the gossipy bantams celebrated the birth of a new scandal when one of the girls - Sarah Git - discovered that the eggs she had been sitting on had hatched into two fluffy, bright-eyed turkey chicks named Mo Lasses and E. Col I (need we say anything about how naughty he is?).

The scandal that the bantams are so excited about is that nobody was expecting any eggs to hatch. Sarah Git did go out on a hens' night a few weeks ago, and there are parts of that she doesn't remember, but she is pretty sure she never went home with anyone. Sarah Git also doesn't recall ever laying the eggs. Bob, the only male turkey on the street, denies ever having met Sarah Git, but (as the Leghorn and Yortu will verify), he can't always be trusted to tell the truth. Although Bob and Sarah Git categorically deny being the biological parents of Mo' and 'Col, the rumours are rife amongst the bantam community - did Bob really do the dirty on Yortu again, and is that why nobody has seen Yortu for days?

If the gossipy bantams were less bird-brained, they might have remembered Mr Farmer sneaking some eggs that Yortu had abandoned underneath Sarah Git, who at that stage, was doing her very best to hatch a golf ball. The gossipy bantams, if they weren't such egg-heads, might then have realised that Sarah Git really is just a surrogate. Happily for Mo' and 'Col, Sarah Git isn't bothered about being the centre of the controversy in the coop. She and her turkey chicks have moved into the hutch (right next door to Albie, who may or may not be wondering about his involvement), and Sarah Git is raising Mo' and 'Col as if they were her own.

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Flat out making milk

Helen: not actually dead, just enjoying the Spring sunshine.

Wednesday 16 November 2011

Mushroom, fennel and paprika-stuffed pork leg (in loving memory of Karina)



Karina was somewhat camera-shy, and by the time she was
all dressed up with stuffing, everyone had forgotten
 about photographs. This is Kim and some of her last litter of
piglets, all of whom hope to be just like Karina when
 they grow up.
1 leg pork, boned, skin on



1/2 small red onion, diced finely
pork, fennel and paprika sausage*, casing removed
1 rasher bacon, finely chopped
100 grams breadcrumbs
1/2 t salt
black pepper
1 egg
2 cups mushrooms, sliced

1 T butter


Combine breadcrumbs, egg, red onion, salt, pepper bacon, and sausage meat. Sauté mushrooms in butter, until just softened, and add to the breadcrumb mix. Mix thoroughly using a strong plastic spatula, chopping the mushrooms into smaller pieces as you go.

Place stuffing mixture inside pork leg, rolling the pork leg around the stuffing. Tie together with string (this is more difficult than it sounds), and place in a roasting dish with about 1cm water in the bottom of the roasting dish. Bake at 150 - 175°C (depending on how much time you have) until pork is cooked, about 2 to 3 hours, depending on the size of your leg of pork. Make sure there is always a bit of water in the bottom of your pan, to keep the pork nice and moist.

Serve with pumpkin and some nice, fresh, green vegetables, and then do your very best to get someone else to clean the roasting pan (thanks, Trusty Sidekick, for volunteering so selflessly).

*we have refined the sausage recipe again; for every 1kg pork mince, add 1t fennel seeds, 1t salt, 1t coarsely ground pepper, 2.25T paprika, 81g breadcrumbs. Thanks to Ken (wood) for providing the original  sausage flavour.

Friday 4 November 2011

Snoods, scandals and summonses

Bob is a handsome turkey - or so he would tell you. He spends hours, all puffed up, snood extended, admiring himself in the reflection of the conservatory. This self-admiration is only a recent activity; a few weeks ago, Bob spent hours, all puffed up, snood extended, strutting around behind Yortu. Anywhere Yortu went, Bob would be there, right behind her, all puffed up, snood extended, with that dreamy, yearning-turkey look in his eyes.

Bob in Handsome Turkey Mode 
(certain members of the farm find this a little creepy)


Martha's double-yoker - not idle
gossip after all.
Finally, Bob's relentless attention got to Yortu. Yortu laid some eggs and pretended to nest, just so that she could get some alone time. Eventually however, Yortu grew tired of listening to the idle gossip of the bantams (did you know that Marcy laid a double-yoker yesterday?), and so Yortu abandoned her nest, only to discover Bob, all puffed up, snood extended, with that dreamy, yearning-turkey look in his eyes, following one of the leghorns around. The guinea fowl thought the whole situation was terribly funny, until Yortu (who used to be a member of their gang, and remains an associate) voiced her displeasure and stormed off in a huff.

Irresistible...
Since the incident, Bob has done his best to make it up to Yortu, following her around, day and night, all puffed up, snood extended, with a guilty look in his eyes. We've even caught him sneaking into the house, undoubtably in search of a telephone on which to order his jilted lover a bunch of forgive-me flowers. Despite the aforementioned leghorn's best efforts to keep a low profile, she has still been labeled a harlot and a home-wrecker by certain gossiping bantams.


Handsome...
Notwithstanding Bob's continued efforts to woo Yortu, with his extended snood, puffed-up feathers, and folds of skin that change from bright red to brilliant blue with the twitch of a feather, Yortu has been giving Bob the cold shoulder. This isn't just idle bantam-gossip - the two turkey eggs that made their way into last night's experimental quiche were both cold and unfertilized**. Indeed, Bob was also spotted, deflated and with short snood, chatting to Albie about his now purposeless existence - an interesting choice of companionship, given that Albie doesn't exactly enjoy Farm Stud status himself. Mr Farmer, who likes to look out for the other males on the farm, and was no doubt worried about Albie's ability as a counsellor, stepped in and came up with a solution - he invited Bob and Yortu to join us for Christmas dinner.

...Ever so slightly comical.
Since Mr Farmer's invitation, Bob has been practicing his feather-puffing and snood-showing in front of the reflective conservatory windows with newfound enthusiasm, in order to regain his Studly Allure (and resultant Purpose On The Farm). Mr Farmer's invitation seemed to be just what Yortu needed, too, to give Bob a second chance, as Yortu has been spotted eyeing up Bob's reflection with a very approving stare, from just behind the flax bush, out of sight from prying bantam eyes.

**For those who are curious, the turkey eggs were rich and tasty, and the experimental quiche was a success.