Sunday, 18 September 2011

The mating game

There is great scandal on the farm. When Spring began, everyone thought that all the new-borns had already arrived. Everyone except for Roger's daughter Little Romney, that is - Little Romney had a big secret. Little Romney's big secret arrived yesterday - in the shape of a tiny wee boy named Fritzl.

Fritzl, the only lamb to actually enjoy a cuddle with a farmer.
There is some confusion over how Fritzl came to be. Little Romney is keeping mum, but there are really only two suspects (possibly three, if you recall that Mr Farmer is from Southland, but he claims to have an alibi).

Roger the ram is the most obvious suspect, but he has always been able to be trusted with his daughters. He's always said he would never go there, and certainly, none of his daughters have ever had a Fritzl before. However, a google search would have revealed to Roger that inbreeding is quite acceptable on some farms, especially when you call it linebreeding. Certainly, Roger and Little Romney both have genes to be proud of...

Albie the buck is the least likely suspect, but the evidence for his paternity is compelling. Little Romney and Roger are both white all over, but Fritzl has a black nose and a brown patch on his ear (not pictured). Fritzl is also unusually friendly and calm for a lamb, and is quite content to sleep in a patch of long grass while his mum goes off and eats - just like a goat kid. Nobody thought that sort of thing was actually possible, but according to Wikipedia (and a number of other sources), goats and sheep have been getting together since 1969. In fact, it would seem that Fritzl wouldn't be the first shoat/geep to be born in New Zealand - even if you exclude the nasty rumour that Roger started about Vindie-Lou. Finally, there has been much friction between Albie and Roger, over Helen, and everyone is quite convinced that impregnating Roger's daughter would be Albie's ultimate revenge (especially if the rumour about Vindie-Lou is true).

In any case, little Fritzl's mum seems quite happy to raise her son on her own (despite questions from a certain farmer after Little Romney lost her son in the paddock today - but sheep are not known for their excellent memory). Nobody has been tactless enough to mention the daddy-identity issue to Fritzl. Helen is also adamant that Albie really is Vindie-Lou's biological father.


  1. Such confusion at your place. I think everyone ought to have a Peanut and think it over. Or not. As long as the Peanuts are forthcoming.

  2. There is unanimous agreement over the Peanuts, but some of the sheep struggle with the 'thinking' part of your suggestion, Marigold...