Hens cry fowl over lay-offs

Angry left-wing socialists called for capitalism to be
eggstinguished.

Poultry of Albany's Chicken Executive Officer (CEO) this morning announced a plan to make all 12 laying hens redundant, and to hire a replacement workforce. The proposed restructuring comes after Poultry of Albany the workers' union Kollective For Chickens (KFC) demanded a colleggtive employment eggreement and pay increases of 2.5% - a demand made in response to Poultry of Albany's plans to double productivity, as measured by the number of eggs produced per day, from 6 to 12. Workers state that the proposed target of one egg per bird per day goes against the grain, and that the present laying roster system is a more realistic eggspectation.

After the announcement, Poultry of Albany workers scrambled to arrange a meeting with KFC representatives to plan strike action over the proposed redundancies. Said one hen, "Poultry of Albany will be left with egg on their face when production stops; the neggative publicity and pressure this will eggcert on them will make them crack."

A flock of left-wing socialists circling the farm with placards speculated that Poultry of Albany had plans to poach a specialized team of point-of-lay Brown Shavers from a neighboring farm. Egged on by the rumours, angry union members told reporters that they would not be beaten by Poultry of Albany's capitalism: "The proposed lay-offs are just an eggscuse to avoid having to shell out for what really is a poultry increase in wages."